The painterly bleakness of Dartmoor has encouraged the growth of many legends, not least that of the Hairy Hands – disembodied hirsute mitts that suddenly grab at one's steering wheel or handlebars and force the victim off the road. It's a ghost story that pertains to the Postbridge stretch of the B3212, which was purported to have seen an unusually high number of motor vehicle accidents in the early 20th century. So, you have been warned.

The B3212 might have a soulless name, but the unfenced undulating tarmac through the wilds of the moor is brimming with character. It towers and swoops over hills and down valleys, split by crystal streams and edged by treacherous bogs. More than haunting spectres, the main danger here are the sheep, and occasionally cattle, that like to sit prone in the road beyond the crests.

If arriving in Devon from the east, the B3212 starts at Exeter and runs west under the A30, reaching Dartmoor National Park at Dunsford. From there, it's a 25-mile burn that cuts through the middle of the moor to Yelverton, which should take around 45 glorious minutes. Plymouth lies just 12 miles to the south. The great thing about Dartmoor is it's quiet, even in the summer, so you're unlikely to be trapped behind traffic for long. There are 160 tors across the moor, which refer to where the granite is exposed and makes for natural landmarks for hikers. As for man-made landmarks, you may wish to stop off at Bovey Castle, a mansion built in 1907 which is now a five-star hotel and spa. Less luxurious, but even more eye-catching is the notorious Dartmoor Prison, located in Princetown.

Built in 1809 to house prisoners from the Napoleonic Wars, notable former inmates include Kray acolyte Frank Mitchell, aka ‘The Mad Axeman', who managed to escape from this nick in 1966. The prison is still taking guests and has its own museum.

Princetown is a good place to stop for refreshments, with The Plume of Feathers and the Prince of Wales (Prince Charles technically owns the prison) catering to both tourists and screws.

In addition to Bovey Castle, lunch and four-poster beds can be found along the route at the popular Two Bridges Hotel, perched on the banks of the West Dart River. For a truly stand-out gastronomic experience, though, we recommend Gidleigh Park. Located in Chagford, six miles west of Moretonhampsted, the Michelin-starred restaurant is overseen by Chris Eden. The menu changes with the seasons, but aged beef fillet cooked over coals with bone marrow is among the classics. There are 24 bedrooms to let you sleep off the weighty wine list. Petrolheads may enjoy Moretonhampsted Motor Museum, which has over 150 vintage and classic cars and bikes, many of them pre-war. They've even got a Trotter brothers’ three-wheeler.

The A57 that stretches across Derbyshire's Peak District is better known by a more emotive name; the Snake Pass. The A57 starts in Sheffield, to the east, and ends in Glossop in the direction of Manchester. The Snake Pass itself runs from the Ladybower Reservoir at Ashopton, its tarmac rising through the forest and wriggling north west across the Pennines for 14 thrilling miles, plateauing at 510m above sea level. Such is the magnificence of this road and the scenery it affords that Sheffield synth-pop icons The Human League named a tune after it.

Comic character John Shuttleworth has also performed a song called ‘Incident on Snake Pass' about a shunt he claims to have suffered in a Ford Anglia. In fact, the moniker comes not from the sinuous ribbon of road but from a pub which used to be located close to the reservoir called The Snake Inn, which in turn took its insignia from the serpent on the Cavendish arms belonging to the sixth Duke of Devonshire. There are still many excellent pubs to be enjoyed in the area, catering for motorists, cyclists, walkers, and the local farming community. The Ladybower Inn is on Snake Pass and does food and rooms. One of the region's most charming pubs is the Packhorse Inn in Little Longstone, which has been serving weary travellers since 1787 and is owned by local brewery Thornbridge. Try the award-winning Jaipur pale ale and the a la carte venison haunch.

The Old Hall Inn, on the District's western edge at Chinley, has not only one of the best beer gardens but also characterful bedrooms with four-posters. Their Sunday roast is to die for. Luxury digs are available at Fischer's Baslow Hall, to the east, a handsome manor with well-tended gardens and a Michelin-starred fine dining restaurant that attracts foodies from afar. Dishes change with the seasons, but might include pan-fried John Dory with a lemon verbena and ginger bisque.

There's plenty to do in the area, including a visit to the stately Chatsworth House. Do explore the caves at Castleton, particularly Peak Cavern aka ‘The Devil’s Arse’, where local resident Jarvis Cocker recently recorded music. And grab a Bakewell tart from its birthplace, Bakewell. The town’s aforementioned brewery, Thornbridge, makes a raspberry jam-flavoured beer in homage to the dessert.

Yorkshire is not short on epic roads, and the crown jewel is the Buttertubs Pass. Hacking its way over the moody moors, the 6.8 mile-long road – officially titled Cliff Gate Road - weaves its way north from the market town of Hawes to the rural village of Thwaite. It earns its name from the 20m-deep limestone potholes located beyond the tarmac, for in ye olden days dairy farmers would stop at the summit on hot days to rest, and they would stash their butter in these potholes to keep it from melting.

More recently, it has featured on the UK section of the Tour de France. Get ready to react to copycatting Mamils hidden in the dips, therefore. At points, the gradient after leaving Hawes reaches 18 percent. At the summit, one is rewarded with stirring views of the high moorland between Wensleydale and Swaledale. The approach down to Thwaite features a spine-tingling hairpin mapped out by dry stone walls. As you thunder up the hill from Hawes you'll pass the lavish Simonstone Hall Hotel. Its restaurant does a blinding roast on Sundays, though the kitchen is known to close early. Beyond Thwaite, on the B670 driving east are the Farmer's Arms, for warm pints from its own microbrewery, and the 17th century Punchbowl Inn, which offers four-star accommodation and what is described as Yorkshire food with a modern twist, such as beef and black sheep casserole with dumplings, and wild garlic risotto with crispy hen’s egg.

For Wallace & Gromit fans, no visit to this specific acreage would be complete without giving worship to the local crumbly cheese. Hawes is home to the Wensleydale Creamery visitors centre, which traces its cheese-making since 1150 when French Cistercian monks first settled in this dale, through to today's £30 million turnover. And there's much to do besides food, drink and driving. Further afield are the ruined Pendragon and Middleham castles, and 12th century abbeys of Jervaulx and Bolton Priory. There’s also caving at White Scar and Stump Cross, with history going back hundreds of millions of years. And, of course, the dales are littered with villages straight out of a Hovis advert. The prettiest, in addition to Hawes and Thwaite, are judged to include Kirkby Lonsdale, Appletreewick and Long Preston.

“I'm making time!” repeated Richard E Grant's Withnail, and it’s true that there is something about the Lake District that makes you want to put your foot down. England’s most verdant national park, the Lake District is as much a mecca for motorists as it is for hikers and cyclists, provided you can get away from the bottlenecks of Lake Windermere. The district’s finest uninterrupted driving is to be found on the Honister Pass, which is the section of the B5289 between Seatoller and Gatesgarth. Rising to 356m, it forms part of a scenic circuit. The Honister Pass is only 3.7 miles long, but if you start in Keswick and take the B5289 south past Derwent Water, follow the Honister Pass west and take the right hand turn north up the Newlands Pass to Braithwaite, then take the A66 east for a few minutes back to Keswick, you’ll have racked up 23 miles of smiles.

The Pass skirts the Honister Slate Mine, the last working mine of its kind in England. It's also a tourist attraction, offering underground tours, climbing and abseiling. After all that effort, you (or at least your passenger) will have earned a pint of homemade cask ale at the rustic Kirkstile Inn in Loweswater, a world away from the tourist rabble. Located at the foot of Mellbreak hill, it also offers newly refurbished rooms and first rate pies. Something the Lake District is not short of is fine dining. There are more Michelin-starred restaurants here per capita than London, Paris and Tokyo combined, as evidenced in Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon's comi-travel series The Trip. Top of the list is L’Enclume. Located at the bottom of the national park, A-list chef Simon Rogen’s restaurant is a two-star masterpiece. In the interests of brevity we shan’t list the full 17-course tasting menu, but highlights include a beef dumpling in broth so flavoursome it’ll cause involuntary spasms, and veal so tender you could cut it by blowing on it. In short, it lives up to the hype. Holding a star itself, Grasmere’s Forest Side offers contemporary luxury accommodation within the confines of a Victorian manor and, delighting its epicurean guests, L’Enclume alumnus Kevin Tickle uses his foraging skills to produce an innovative menu inspired by the Cumbrian landscape.

The ingredients all come from the garden and nearby fields, lakes and sea; pig's tail, venison pastrami, langoustine, cod, oyster, rare-breed pork – each course more succulent than the next. Other sites of interest may include the literary; such as the poet William Wordsworth's grave at Grasmere, Victorian art critic John Ruskin’s house on Coniston Water, and The World of Beatrix Potter at Bowness-on-Windermere.

You may also wish to pay your respects to the region's most famous speed demon. Donald Campbell CBE set the world water speed record on Ullswater in 1955 at an average speed of 202.32mph. He would die in 1967 at Coniston Water, aged 45, trying to go faster still, and is now buried in the churchyard. Campbell’s headstone is easy to spot; there’s a bluebird on it.

The Pennines never disappoint, and the A686 is a particularly majestic marriage of geography and engineering, full of zig-zagging and gear-changing joy throughout. You will insist on manual-mode here. The beguiling 37 miles that connect Penrith, Cumbria, with the village of Haydon Bridge in Northumberland ranks as one of the north of England's top three bits of blacktop. Crossing the River Eden, the road starts climbing and the landscape begins to brown from Melmerby to 580m above sea level at the Hartside summit, providing views across the Solway Firth and to Scotland.

In the winter months the road is often snowed over. The well-sighted road leads to Alston, a charming village with quaint cobbled streets which claims to be England's highest market town (they're locked in a bragging battle with Buxton). The A686 beyond Alston cruises through another astonishing panorama of windswept upland before blasting down to the River Allen’s wooded gorge and throwing in some more stellar switchbacks for good measure.There are a handful of cafes and food pubs along the route, including the Shepherds Inn at Langwathby Bridge, which does rooms and a generous trade in fish n’ chips, the Cumbrian Pantry and Blueberry’s Tea Shop, both in Alston, and the Elks Head at Whitfield, which also has accommodation. At the finish in Haydon Bridge you’ll find the Anchor hotel, overlooking the Tyne, where salmon jump over the weir. The hotel, which dates from 1422, operated as a courthouse during the Jacobite revolutions and hanged those judged to be guilty in what’s now the car park and beer garden.

Northumberland's most acclaimed hotel of the moment is the Lord Crewe Arms, 20 miles southeast of Haydon Bridge, in the honey-hued village of Blanchland. Its beauty has drawn poets including WH Auden and Philip Larkin. The fabric of the building dates back to a 12th century priory. Blanchland Abbey was lauded for its hospitality for 400 years until its dissolution in 1539. It passed through different private ownerships and from the 1720s, as the Lord Crewe Arms, served pints to miners after their shift. The pub part is now housed in the vaulted crypt. Food is worshipped upstairs, either in the Bishop’s dining room or beside a fireplace big enough to toast the toes of his entire flock. It’s so large that Tory politician, landowner and rebel ‘General’ Tom Foster hid inside it during the 1715 Jacobite rising, and the hotel is said to be haunted by his sister, Dorothy. The dining room’s menu is seasonal, local and robust, brimming with flavours, and they’ll butcher your own birds upon request. Plenty of room in the Portofino M’s boot for a brace, and more than enough firepower up front.

Pictures are for illustration purposes only and may not be specifically representative of the exact locations mentioned in the text.